What have we forgot?
We forgot how to die…
We forgot that we are going to die…
Death is beautiful… death is liberating… death is natural…
We built a culture against death, we try to escape it, we negate it.
We started to see ourselves as gods, as being immortals. We inhabit the future more than we do the present.
How did this happen? We went too artificial, too far from nature to see that reality is change and transformation. To see that we cannot control anything. We forgot that the reality is made up of life-death-rebirth. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t have the beautiful chery flowers in the spring if there wasn’t the winter. We isolate ourselves in ivory towers from what it is. We started living in our imaginary worlds. We inhabit the past, the future… but never the present.
The present is all we have and we forgot that. We consistently omit the fact that we are not gods, but humans with limited power. We send our mortality and fragility into oblivion.
Death does not discriminate. King or beggar, from clay you, are made, to earth, you shall return. Death reminds us that we are all the same. We all have the same experiences in different forms, we all fall in love, we all create, we all destroy, we all suffer, we all die. We are One with many faces. When you realize this- truly, than you are liberated from judgements.
We are all the same but in different forms.
Death is a great advisor. It helps you see what is truly important. What do you value the most? Your work? Your relationships? Your creations? Your family? Your experiences? Your assets? What if you die today? Now?
What does really matter for you? We imagine we will live forever, or at least another 30, 20, 10 years… but we cannot say that for sure. We hope, wish, imagine. You don’t know when and how you will die and for this reason alone it is important what you do now. You only own the present. Is it worth it? Meaningful?
All our lives we prepare ourself for that final death. You died many times and every time so far you managed to be reborn. It was not easy. Who said it is? Have you ever watched a woman giving birth? Sure, is magic, a new life… However, “painful” cannot merely describe the experience.
Because we are so unaccustomed with death, because we live in so sterile environments, we don’t know how to deal with it. When we see someone in his death bed we lie: “Don’t worry, you’ll get better…”- we are terrified by the truth: death awaits us. Sometimes I think how difficult is for doctors to deal with death. They don’t know how to deal with this phenomena because they are healers by default. Thus we see in hospital humans connected to different machineries, people that are more dead than alive. Death is real. You can’t deny it, maybe postpone it but that is all.
I apologize if I sounded gloomy, that was not my intention. You can’t love life if you don’t accept death. When something dies, something new is born in its place. I grew up in a neighbourhood where violence was normal- one day my father came back home with a deep cut on his face after he chased a guy that tried to rape my sister. My mother found my uncle dead in his apartment. My aunt hung herself in the Easter day. I was almost beaten to death once. Yesterday, I visited my grand-father that suffers from dementia and Alzheimer. He forgot how to walk and move. He doesn’t know who he is and bearly speaks. When I entered the courtyard where I used to spend my summers, climb trees, collect strawberries, read and play, I could smell death.
I am grateful for all my experiences, especially for the painful ones because they teach me to see beyond the veils of ego. Every time I encounter death, I learn to love more.
How you can stop fearing death? Die before you die.