Process vs objectives
Goals, those are essential. Without knowing where you go or having the proper instruments, you’ll get lost or your journey will definitely be more difficult. I spoke in the past about objectives and how to develop the right tools that will guide you but I don’t think I emphasized enough about how important is the journey.
Fall in love with the process.
Yes, getting where you desire is essential but not fundamental. It takes time and effort to reach a certain point and once you get there or even before, you will probably define another thing you want to accomplish.
The time you spend in that paradisical bubble when you hit that point B is not even equal to 5% of the time it took you to get there. Having this in mind, your main focus is to enjoy performing the actions that get you there because those ponder more form a quantitative point of view.
What do I mean by that? Go running or the gym because you enjoy sports not only for that sexy body, learn because you are curious not only to pass that exam, travel because you enjoy exposing yourself to new things not because you have to check certain destinations.
There must be a harmony between the final stop and your way there. It doesn’t mean the process should be simple but do it because you desire to do so not because you feel obliged.
Don’t force yourself to do something that doesn’t make you feel good even if accomplishing that objective would make you feel happy (I don’t agree with this but it is a topic for another time). The sense of attainment will be shadowed by your past actions. It’s not worth to have a huge villa if you feel like you lost yourself for example.
The end does not justify the means.
We are made of many sub-personalities, think about yourself as a diamond with multiple facets (your personas). We are inhibited by numerous archetypes that manifest depending on situations. Most of the time we are not aware of this, but usually, we tend to react the same way in certain situations, that is what I call embodying the archetype.
For example, I am a warrior and usually this means that I should get things done without complaining, I am also a mother (not until 27 at least), I have a very nurturing side, I am also a magician, I like helping people transform their potential, I am an explorer, I am very curious, always asking questions and discovering new ideas etc.
So there is like a parliament where all these personalities reunite. Let’s say my adventurous persona wants to go on an exotic vacation, she makes a proposition to the congress. There will be debates, the opposition lead by my conscious side would say that we have work to do, or that we can’t afford, on the other hand, my scholarly alter-ego may argue that is the perfect opportunity to discover new cultures etc.
We all have this dialogues in our head. At the end of the day, or several in my case, a decision will be made and everybody is going to go in a holiday. However, we should try to reconcile with the other sides of us, not everytime is possible. You don’t want to be a tyrant with yourself because there might be an uprise, a crisis of identity, of meaning.
NB on archetypes and masks: We use all these masks but none of them defines us and none of them is us. Think of them as instruments for survival.
All in all, the process is as important as the objective. At the end of this article, I hope you don’t think I am manifesting early schizophrenia symptoms. If there are questions, ask, I am more than happy to answer.