We all play roles, our whole existence is acting.
This may become confusing for some who identify themselves with only one mask that they wear. Sometimes, they start evaluating all their performances from that sole point of view and everything seems doomed. To illustrate this idea: you may not be the perfect employee but that does not mean you are a bad parent. One component of your life should not and does not cast a shadow over the other, only if you let it. Furthermore, sometimes the standards we impose ourselves are too high, unapproachable and unnatural. That happens when you strive for goals stat are outside of your being, artificially imposed because you want to copy what others did. I don’t say that is bad but I saw many people suffering due to that. For example, I have a different approach, I try to be better than I was yesterday and always give my best, I like things to be well done (some may do that better than me but I know I gave my best and I don’t regret underperforming).
My mom is a one man (woman) show. What do I mean by that? She has a company and wants to be the best employer, she is a mother and tries to have the perfect household, she is a wife and does not want to disappoint her husband and she is a daughter and always be there for her parents when in need. These are only 4 of her masks but she has many. She tries to achieve the ideal in all these positions but, men and women alike are not perfect. She is exhausted not by the massive workload (which I consider being enormous) but by the thing that she does not make any compromises, she wants all to be impeccable, and that is not realistic. She considers that if one of these areas isn’t as she wants her to be, her whole life is terrible. Bu the truth is far from that, I truly admire my mother for her stamina but I blame her for putting too much pressure on oneself.
As far as I am concerned the concept of “individual” is incomplete. It basically means that which cannot be divided but truth be spoken, that is not how personality works. We are made of different personas which have sometimes convergent behaviour or beliefs, and when we observe that, we think we have gone mad, but that is just how humans are. To be fulfilled does not mean to eliminate all the paradoxes (internal or not) but to become comfortable with them.
Let’s say you love partying (and whole doesn’t) but you also want to be a good student. This two side of your persona may come in conflict in a situation like this: you have an exam tomorrow but your friends ask you to come at one of the most awesome celebration ever. This is a conflict. The best way to solve this kind of situations is to make a compromise, sleep tonight, be fresh for the exam and tomorrow night go wild like the World is going to end. Another example, you are hungry but you want to lose weight, if you were to pick sides you would either have to starve or eat a burger. As an alternative, you can eat a banana, this way you ingest something more healthy.